Less Than Sober
by heyalex
Summary: Ruffnut/Hiccup. A drunken mishap leads to unexpected emotions and an intoxicated confession. All of which Ruffnut has no idea how to handle.


"C'mon, Hiccup! Just _one_ sip!"

Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III gulped, currently faced with an ordeal beyond his capabilities. He could change the entire doings of an ancient civilization and cheat death abruptly no problem. But when it came to mingling with his own age group, the boy proved useless. A title he had heard more than enough times throughout the course of his fifteen-year-old life. The redhead currently found himself seated at one of the long tables Berk's dining hall held. Positioned near the back of the spacious stone structure, the boy and his teenage companions were well hidden from any straggling villagers or insomniacs who happened to be within the hall's confines. Hiccup watched as Snotlout scoffed, taking a mug from his best friend Tuffnut's hand.

"Honestly, you saved the entire village, won over the girl of _my _dreams, and you're telling me you can't stomach a hit of ale?"

The bulky boy let out a slight chuckle, shaking his head as if disappointed by Hiccup's refusal to drink to his success. Afterall, Tuffnut and Snotlout had risked their lives by sneaking into Gobber's secret cellar earlier that evening, while celebrations regarding the tribe leader's son still ran throughout the sturdy village, strictly to honor in private their newfound friend's good fortune. Three things of ale and two bottles of whiskey lay before the three, Tuffnut and Snotlout having already taken sips from the alcohol-laden mugs before them. Fishlegs said nothing, the overweight boy fidgeting awkwardly with the mug of ale Snotlout had unceremoniously forced upon him.

"Look, Lout. It's just, not my thing, okay? Getting so drunk I don't have any recollection of what I did the night before? Love it." Hiccup carped, pushing away the mug Tuffnut had offered him.

"Aw, you're still a loser, Haddock. Even if you _did_ save all our asses. We got this for you, man!" Tuffnut snapped, forgetting that it was very late at night and there were still others up and about.

"...Maybe you shouldn't force him, guys..." Fishlegs said quietly, finally speaking up after some time. Tuffnut stared at the redhead, letting out a snicker.

"You're right, Fishlegs. Let Hiccup be a little bitch about it. We'll just drink until we can't remember our own names, like _real_ men." With that said, the blond and his supposed manly companions all took swigs from their mugs; Tuffnut and Snotlout chugging, Fishlegs sipping softly. Hiccup began to grow irritated, not taking kindly to this sudden bout of teasing. He was used to it, sure, but teasing for a reason as stupid as this was beginning to irk him. With a small sigh he lifted himself up from the table, realizing that he had forgotten to tie-up Toothless for the night what with all the "excitement." He was about to dismiss himself from his now buzzed friends when two other figures approached the table, torchlight falling on their feminine features. Before the boys stood Ruffnut Thorston and Astrid Hofferson; hands on hips, smiles wide.

"What's up, idiots?" Ruffnut chided, her low voice mocking as she thumped her twin brother on the back of the head. She took a seat next to him, the boy glaring as he took another swig from his mug. Astrid's eyes immediately met Hiccup's, causing the boy to smile awkwardly. They had kissed twice and still he found himself go weak in the knees whenever she looked his way. How pathetic. With a slight skip the blonde made her way over to her boyfriend, sitting next to him forcefully. Realizing he was still standing, Hiccup immediately plopped back down, heart pounding when he felt Astrid's hand touch his own. It was then that the vicious blonde took notice of what the other three boys were doing, alcohol bottles and ale stains catching her attention.

"This is what you snuck off to do? Get drunk? When you told me you were borrowing him for awhile, I didn't expect this!" The blonde shot the other teenaged Viking boys a glare, Snotlout flinching under her hard gaze. Rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly he said nothing, Tuffnut merely rolling his eyes in response to both Astrid's anger and the hard punch to the arm he had nonchalantly received from his twin. Fishlegs stayed quiet yet again, still too focused on the remnants of his ale then the Viking girl's disapproval for their personal party of sorts. Hiccup gulped, hoping that Astrid didn't think he had been partaking in all of this too. Her obvious dislike for drinking at their age was evident to Hiccup, causing him to shuffle uncomfortably in his seat. With a small clearing of the throat the boy said nervously,

"I-I didn't drink any, Astrid! P-promise! I was really just about to leave, Astrid, so, um, then..."

The redhead was cut short when the girl next to him began to chuckle, Ruffnutt letting out a few giggles of her own. With a determined smirk Astrid reached across the table, rising to her feet as she did so. Grabbing the near empty bottle of whiskey Snotlout had been working on, the girl pressed it to her lips, tilting her head back as she did so. Everyone at the table watched with wide eyes as the blonde continued to chug the alcoholic beverage, not stopping to take a breath once. When she was done, bottle empty, the girl faced Hiccup with a smile, leaning down to give him a light kiss. With a scowl Ruffnut found herself turning her back on the drunken display, finding alcohol mixed with romance a sickening combination. The three now intoxicated boys hooted and hollered, Snotlout's tone of voice more disheartened then anything as the kiss between the two lovers lasted longer then usual. When Astrid finally pulled away, facing a stunned Hiccup, she couldn't help but laugh. She watched as he pursed his lips together, no doubt tasting the remains of the whiskey that had passed through the girl's lips. Placing one hand under his chin, and with a childish giggle, Astrid simply stated,

"Hiccup, sweetie, you need to learn to live a little."

It wasn't long before a mug found itself wedged firmly within Hiccup's hand.

**XXXX**

Fading torchlight was the only thing breathing life into a seemingly dead dining hall. And, unfortunately for Ruffnut, so was the maniac giggling and bellowing of the five intoxicated idiots before her. The girl shook her head, shutting her eyes in hopes of blocking out the moronic display. For the past three hours they had done nothing but drink themselves into oblivion, as Snotlout and her brother had taken quite more then necessary from old Gobber's personal storage. The blonde had never cared for the stuff, not even a bit. Her father had let her and Tuffnut steal small sips from his mug back when they were younger, and the taste of the beverage had sickened the girl. Not her sibling it seemed, as he continued to laugh and ramble on about nonsense and, above all else, himself. It was not only her twin's drunken snorts and chuckles occupying her ears, but Snotlout's slurred statements on how he and Astrid had shared an indirect kiss of sorts and Fishleg's loud snoring, as the boy had passed out an hour or so back. Astrid, on the other hand, was having moodswings that would send even the largest of dragons scurrying into a corner. One minute she was giggling, the next sobbing or screaming as she continued to drink from the ever refilling mug she kept clasped in one hand. Even Ruffnut herself felt a chill go down her spine whenever the small blonde's emotions turned deadly. And then, there was Hiccup. To be quite honest, Ruffnut found herself appalled at the boy's decision to drink with the rest of the young Vikings. The usually quiet and awkward redhead had turned into a giggly, flirtatious mess after what Ruffnut assumed was four full mugs of ale. Astrid sure had a way of forcing Hiccup into things; it was almost aggravating to the taller girl. She watched with a scowl as the supposed hero of Berk aimlessly kissed and touched the girl next to him, causing her to giggle. With an angry slam of her hands, Ruffnut hoisted herself up from the table, announcing,

"I'm going to get some air. Not like you morons care." Tuffnut gave a loud laugh, grabbing his sister's arm forcefully as he tried to pull her back down into her seat.

"C'mon sis. D'nt leeeeeave. Stay!"

Ruffnut rolled her eyes, giving her brother a sharp punch to the side with her free hand. Tuffnut howled in pain, clutching himself instead of the mug that had not left his hand the entirety of the night.

"Lay off, troll. I'm out."

With that the girl made her leave, not shooting even a backwards glance at her twin and the rest of her friends. The blonde yawned, the night finally catching up with her. She made her way down one of the passageways the dining hall held, deciding to use one of the exits closest to her house. Just when her hand was grasped firmly around the large wooden door's handle, a familiar voice halted her actions.

"Hey! W-wait!"

It was Hiccup. Curiously, Ruffnut turned to respond to the boy's drunken cry, wondering just what he could possibly want.

"Yeah, Hiccup, what-" The girl never got to finish, for in that moment she found herself unable to speak. Why? It may have had something to do with the fact that Hiccup's lips had forcibly jammed themselves onto hers. Ruffnut stood stock-still, slowly reaching for the hunting knife she kept on her at all times. She grew angry. Just what was this creep playing at, drunk or not? It was only then that she realized how soft the frail boy's lips were as they continued to rove across her own. She felt herself go weak, something Ruffnut Thorston would never, _ever_ let happen under normal cirumstance. She began to return the kiss, emotions flooding her body. A million things coursed through her mind within that moment: _Why_ is he kissing me? Better yet, why is he kissing _me_? Astrid is going to skin me alive. Oh shit, _Astrid_. Damnit, I forgot to feed the Zippleback again.

Ruffnut snapped back to reality and broke the kiss, causing Hiccup to lazily open his glazed-over green eyes. A lopsided grin grazed his features as he continued to stare at the speechless blonde before him. With a confused cock of the head the redhead let out a soft giggle, stating casually,

"Heh, yer not Astrid..."

Ruffnut's eyes grew wide. So that was it. He had merely been confused in his intoxicated state, thinking the first thing he saw with blonde hair and a braid was his girlfriend. Lucky for him the majority of the village was asleep. The girl felt herself pout as she pried Hiccup's freckled hands off her shoulders.

"Hiccup, you're drunk. Go back to the hall. That's where you'll find the _real_ Astrid. Stupid."

Hiccup let out another giggle, this one louder then the first. He put his hands back on the girl's shoulders, chirping,

"I'donno. I s'rta like you better, RuffTuffDuffRuffnuuuuuuuut..." He leaned into kiss the blonde once more, his breath hot and ridden with the foul smell of ale. Ruffnut raised her fist, prepared to hit the boy square in the jaw. She didn't give a damn if he wasn't in a right state of mind. No boy took advantage of her. Especially not _this_ boy. With a huff the girl swung, fist meeting the redhead's face head-on. Hiccup flew back a few inches, toppling to the ground in pain.

"Fer the love 'a Thor, why'd you, why...dow I'm bleedig." Hiccup mumbled, slapping his hand to his face in an attempt to stop the blood pouring from his seemingly fractured nose. Ruffnut turned on her heel, head high. She was determined to leave the boy in the state he was, feeling he deserved it for what he almost did to her. But something stopped her yet again; a feeling of pity this time. Sighing Ruffnut turned around, watching as Hiccup tried to stand back up, one hand clasped firmly under his bruised nose. The redhead tumbled down to the ground, too drunk to even hoist himself up properly. With a roll of her blue eyes Ruffnut walked over to the injured redhead, offering him a hand.

"Come on, Haddock. Let's get you home..."

The night, or possibly morning, air whipped against the two teen's faces as they made their way out of the dining hall and into the heart of the village. Ruffnut made sure to walk at a steady pace, hand in Hiccup's as she led the inebriated boy back to his own house. All the while whispering for him to keep his head tilted back so the bleeding would cease and reminding him that it was very late and screaming obscenities wouldn't help the situation any. After what seemed an eternity the pair reached a home larger than the others, its stone front shrouded in darkness. The blonde strained her eyes, able to make out a large black form resting peacefully near the side of the house. Toothless, Hiccup's loyal companion, snuffled and turned in his sleep, causing the girl to smile slightly. Ruffnut let go of Hiccup's hand once the two had reached the front of the building, whispering hoarsely,

"Alright, Hicc- oof!" The boy had toppled over right after any sort of balance she had provided him had been stripped away, slamming directly into her. The pair fell over, Hiccup sprawled on top of the girl as she tried to lift herself up.

"Git. Off. Haddock!" She hissed, trying to push the redhead off. Though a talking fishbone, he was supreme deadweight when drunk. Unbeknownst to the two, the Nightfury who had once been sleeping peacefully had awoken slightly, eyeing the two teens as they struggled with each other. With a roll of his eyes the dragon turned on his side, falling back asleep almost instantly. The boy sat up slowly, swaying slightly. It was in that moment he shot the girl a sincere smile, tilting his head slightly as he did so. No drunken smirk or idiotic grin was present as he continued to beam down at the blonde, catching her off guard. Feeling herself grow flustered, Ruffnut averted her eyes from the boy, whispering,

"There's blood all over your face, stupid..." With a light kick to the stomach she pushed Hiccup backwards, causing him to fall flat on his back.

"Owowowowowowowow!"

Ruffnut tried to shush the boy, who had seemingly gone delirious as he continued to shout and ramble. She slapped a hand over his mouth, aggravated eyes boring so fiercely into his frame he immediately went quiet. The redhead suddenly clutched a hand to his stomach after Ruffnut had removed her own from his mouth, groaning,

"I 'dun feel sho goood..." Immediately after these words were spoken the boy whirled around and wretched, the alcohol finally leaving his system. Ruffnut's face wrinkled into one of disgust as Hiccup continued to vomit, inchining away from the redhead slowly. When he had finally finished he wiped his mouth on the sleeve of his green tunic, looking back at the nauseated blonde.

"Ruff..." He said softly, stretching a hand out to the girl before him. Ruffnut shook her head, wishing she had merely left him in a puddle of his own blood back at the dining area. Getting to her feet she grasped the boy's hand, hoisting him up slowly. Keeping one hand on his back, she led him over to his front door, opening it slightly. The house was dark, save for a candle that had been left out on the kitchen table. Everything was quiet, Ruffnut figuring Hiccup's father, Stoick the Vast, had overdone it when concerning celebrations regarding his son and was most likely passed out in a section of the historic village. Father and son had more in common then he knew of. Hiccup mumbled something, gesturing with his finger to the stairs leading up to the upper section of the house. Ruffnut sighed, making sure her grip on the boy was secure as she slowly helped him up to his bedroom.

"Ruff?"

"What?"

"I'm sorry..."

"Whatever, Hiccup. Climb."

"Ruff?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm reallyreally sorry..."

"...S'okay."

"Ruff?"

"Hm?"

"There's puke on yer boot..."

"Thor above."

The two finally made it to the boy's room, Ruffnut making sure to lead him immediately over to the bed nestled in the corner. Hiccup flopped down onto the small feather cot, nestling his head into the soft pillows almost cat-like. After making sure that she hadn't broken the redhead's nose (though he deserved it) and leaving a small bucket that she had found near the back of Hiccup's room at the edge of his bed, Ruffnut turned to leave. But a hand on her arm prevented her from doing so. Her eyes met his and she watched as a smile broke out across his face, dry blood covering the majority of his upperlip. Ruffnut busted out laughing, wishing she had a mirror on hand to show him how ridiculous he looked.

"Do me a favor, Hic. Clean your face tomorrow morning." Hiccup sleepily rubbed one eye, yawning,

"M'kay...G'night." He lay back down onto his bed, the blonde girl relieved that this nightmare was over. She whispered a gruff 'goodnight' to the boy and made for the staircase, only to have her escape interrupted by the frail redhead yet again.

"One more thing!" he cried, almost urgently. She walked back towards the bed, stooping to his level before asking,

"What is it?"

She wasn't prepared for what came next, as Hiccup leaned forward and gave the girl a quick kiss on the forehead. Ruffnut felt her entire body flush, something that rarely happened to the young Viking that sure as hell lived up to her name. She merely stared at the boy, eyes questioning his actions. Hiccup let out a low laugh, causing the blonde's heart to lurch in her chest.

"Thanks, Ruff. Fer everythin'..." Ruffnut merely nodded, too embarassed to snap back with a retort or physically harm the boy again. His voice suddenly got low as he whispered,

"Y'know what?"

"...What?" she questioned, wishing for nothing more than for Stoick to come home and tell her to get the hell out of his son's room. Or maybe another merciless raid on their village that left the entire thing in burnt remains. That would work too. Hiccup clumsily took her by the hand, kissing her on the cheek now.

"I like _you_ cus' yer just as crazy as I am..."

Ruffnut blushed for what felt the billionth time that night. She had forgotten she had confessed her true feelings to the boy within that moment. Then again, since when did she have feelings for this idiot? He was right. She _was_ crazy. She leapt away from his grasp, rising to her feet awkwardly.

"I-I gotta go..." She had spoken these words in vain though, due to as soon as she had moved away from him, Hiccup had finally passed out. He lay slumped over the edge of his bed, snoring lightly. Ruffnut found herself walk over one last time to his bedside, flip him over onto his mattress properly, and subconciously ran a hand through his soft locks before leaving the redhead's house at last. The sky was a dark blue, showing that morning was almost upon Berk. The girl gave a loud yawn, not realizing how drained she was until she had escaped the confines of the Haddock residence. She made her way for home, wondering if her brother and the others had managed to get back to their households alright. There was no doubt in the blonde's mind that when she walked in for breakfast later on today, Fishlegs would be exactly where he had been earlier that night. Her house came into view and the girl couldn't be more relieved. Even though she was finally free of the boy, Hiccup continued to haunt her thoughts. She kept reflecting on the events that had taken place tonight; from intoxicated kisses and vomit-coated boots to sincere smiles and honest laughs. She really had meant what she'd said back then. She really did like him. But now it was different. She wasn't just attracted to his bold and somewhat psychotic antics that had led to the imminent safety and security of the entire village. She had seen a different side of him tonight, regardless if he spent the good majority of it fumbling about and giggling moronically. Ruffnut Thorston liked Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III and there was nothing she could do about it. Literally.

**XXXX**

The dining hall was lessening as more and more of Berk's inhabitants finished their breakfast and went off about their own business. Said business usually involving dragon taming or use of dragons in any way since their acceptance into the village. The doors flew wide-open as Ruffnut lazily made her way into the large stone structure; boundless blonde hair braided sloppily, eyes drooping. She had slept less then she had liked, but had decided to get up before noon regardless. Tuffnut on the other hand, who had passed out in _front_ of their house rather than _inside_ it, was still asleep and would most likely be sleeping for the rest of the day. What a disgrace. Grabbing a few loaves of bread Ruffnut made her way over to one of the empty tables within the middle of the hall. She threw the food down harder then she had meant to, slumping over onto the tabletop dejectedly. Not only was she exhausted, but the fact that Hiccup had been her one main focus since she had left him earlier this morning hadn't helped her sleep much either. Just as she was about to take a bite of bread the hall doors opened once more, a fierce gust of wind and the shouts of busy villagers from outside catching her attention. The blonde immediately felt her heart lunge upon looking up, for standing in the doorway, half-dead, stood Hiccup. The redhead looked horrible from what she could tell. His hair was a mess, standing up in all the wrong places more than usual. His trademark fur vest hung limply off one shoulder and he seemed paler than usual. Thankfully he had remembered to clean his face, though his nose was horribly bruised compliments of the girl's fist. His eyes roved across the room slowly as he did not seem fully alert just yet. Ruffnut quickly looked away, hoping he hadn't seen her. Unfortunately, luck was never on her side when it came to such matters.

"Hey Ruff..." he mumbled, rubbing his temples as he plopped down at her table. He shot the blonde a smile, causing a look of alarm to spread across her face. Quickly looking away from the redhead before she let her emotions get the best of her she merely scoffed, grunting a quick 'morning' before she picked up the loaf of bread she had attempted to consume earlier. The two were quiet for some time; Hiccup complaining about a raging headache he had developed this morning, Ruffnut simply nodding. She hated this. And currently, she hated him. He continued to talk, the wear in his voice evident. It was only then that a particular part of their "conversation" caught her attention, as Hiccup let out a snort and asked in disbelief,

"Is that _Fishlegs_?"

Ruffnut immediately turned, letting out a few chuckles herself at what she saw. She had been right. There he was, in all his glory. Sprawled out across the table the Viking teens had occupied last night lay Fishlegs, in the exact same position the blonde had seen him in before the entire Hiccup ordeal took place. It seemed the others had been either too intoxicated or too uncaring to shake the large boy awake and tell him to get the hell off the table. Hiccup chortled louder, asking through laughs,

"Should we wake him up?"

Ruffnut's gaze finally met his, a smile grazing her lips. With a wave of her hand the girl brushed off the boy's suggestion, replying,

"Naaah. Let the oaf lay there for awhile. It's what he gets for acting like a complete _moron_." Hiccup rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, knowing that the blonde held the same opinion of him though she had not directly stated it. With a sigh he removed one of his hands from his head, stating slowly,

'Well this is what I get for giving into pressure. A terrible headache, extreme nausea, and a bruised nose that I honestly have no explanation for. Whoo."

Ruffnut rubbed her arm, hoping Hiccup never truly figured out how the so-called mysterious bruise had come into existence. It was then that she realized something. Hiccup hadn't remembered that she was the one who had given him such a wound. And that meant...

"Hey, Haddock," she asked suddenly, "do you remember _anything _about last night? Y'know, considering you drank most of Berk's ale supply in one whole evening." Hiccup shot the girl a deadpanned look before one of consideration crossed the redhead's features as he honestly tried to remember any significant details about last night.

"Snotlout. Tuffnut. Ale of course. Astrid. Then I've got nothing. I don't even know how I wound up in my own bed this morning, heh."

Not even the fiercest of flames from a Nightmare or the wickedest of nips from a Nadder could match the feeling of hurt the girl experienced within that moment. He didn't remember _anything_. Nothing at all. He didn't remember the kisses he had bestowed upon her and the physical abuse she had responded with. He didn't remember the way she had been his main support during his weakest hour nor the fact that _she_ had been the one to lead him safely home. And what hurt most of all was the fact that he didn't remember, when his face had shown absolute honesty, that he had confessed his true feelings for her. All of it had been drunken play and misleading words. And she had believed them. Masking the pain on her face with her usual scowl, Ruffnut barked,

"Gods, you're stupid! Next time, try to be less of an idiot and think before you act." Hiccup's face fell, an irritated expression spreading across his visage,

"Thank you, Ruffnut. As if I already didn't feel terrible enough."

She needed to get out of here. As far away from him as possible. Pushing aside the food she had barely touched the blonde stood to her feet, stretching as she did so.

"Whatever, Haddock. I've got important stuff to do. I'll see you later." Hiccup gave a roll of his eyes, standing to his feet also. He began to walk away from the girl, heading towards the hall's exit. Ruffnut inwardly cursed herself. She couldn't exactly blame the boy for having no recollection of what happened last night. He could barely talk let alone stand only hours ago. How could he possibly remember in detail what he had done? Before the redhead was out of sight she yelled after him,

"Hey, Hiccup!" The redhead halted, turning around to face her. His hand fell from the handle as he questioned,

"What is it?"

Ruffnut shuffled over to where he stood, aimlessly twirling one of her messy braids around a finger. That unsettling nervousness she had felt all last night returned with a venegeance and she nearly forgot what she was going to say. Taking a deep breath she once more made eye contact with the boy, noticing that confusion was swimming around in his large green eyes as he continued to stare at her.

"...I'm sorry."

Hiccup continued to examine the girl, a bit caught off guard at her sudden change in attitude. Ruffnut rarely showed any sign of remorse for the various taunts and insults she threw at people. Especially him. He had been one of her prime targets back in the day, her brother acting no different. Though, now that he thought about it, she had never pushed the redhead too far like the others normally had. She had known when to let up and that might've been why Hiccup had always considered her less of a threat then her brother and Snotlout. Hiccup shot the girl a bright smile, though his headache hadn't lessened any and he still felt terrible. With a shrug of the shoulders he merely replied,

"No worries, Ruff. I'm used to you by now. Bye." With a small wave and a quick smile he left the building, making it so that only she and the seemingly incapacitated form of Fishlegs were the only ones inhabiting the empty dining area. Ruffnut sighed, for she had finally figured it all out within that moment. Ruffnut Thorston (rude, abrasive, jeering) was madly infatuated with one Hiccup Haddock III (awkward, clumsy, sincere). And the sad thing was that he would never remember that, somewhere deep-down, the feeling was mutual. It was official: Alcohol was indeed _the devil_.


End file.
